She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize