in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
