I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
