I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
