I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
