maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
