Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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