I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
