You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
