So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
