were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I haven't been this sober since birth.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
