Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
