oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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