OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
