nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
