Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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