i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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