we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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