Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
