Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The beer is more important than you right now.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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