And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
