We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
