Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
