why didn't you poke me back
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
