Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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