Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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