I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
