She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize