grandma shit on top of the toilet
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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