i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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