he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
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