i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
