Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize