god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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