If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
