Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
