Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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