A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
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