Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
