Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
