the new term for farting is butt boxing.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
