Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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