Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
