The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
