Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
