sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
