not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I showed him my bush... on skype.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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