Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
