hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I woke up under a house in Key West
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