Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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