Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
