Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
