I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
