Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
