Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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