I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
wow bdsm is so cute
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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