Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
