apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
