sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
