Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
