I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
