If that was your dad, he is hot
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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