Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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