I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
