I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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