I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
