Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
