Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
