He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
