4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
