god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
